Marriage allows a man and a woman to share their joys and burdens freely, support each other throughout their lives and most of all, encourage each other to be united and steadfast along with their offspring in their pursuit of God’s grace and pleasure. However, here are the details on marriage from Quran, God’s Final Testament to mankind:
Marriage is a Divine Institution
There are so many wondrous creations of God that we can reflect upon to know Him or confirm His presence in our hearts, and marriage is one of those creations:
[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.
[7:189] He created you from one person (Adam). Subsequently, He gives every man a mate to find tranquility with her. …
God encourages marriage
Marriage requires mutual attraction and dowry. It creates a harmonious social support system:
[24:32] You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. God will enrich them from His grace. God is Bounteous, Knower.
[24:33] Those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality until God provides for them from His grace….
[4:24] Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you. These are God’s commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. God is Omniscient, Most Wise.
Through marriage, God allows procreation
God willing there will be children and submitting parents must inculcate an active system of submission in their homes and also guide their children to righteousness:
[30:20] Among His proofs is that He created you from dust, then you became reproducing humans.
[25:54] He is the One who created from water a human being, then made him reproduce through marriage and mating. Your Lord is Omnipotent.
[20:132] You shall enjoin your family to observe the contact prayers (Salat), and steadfastly persevere in doing so. We do not ask you for any provisions; we are the ones who provide for you. The ultimate triumph belongs to the righteous.
[2:132] Moreover, Abraham exhorted his children to do the same, and so did Jacob: “O my children, God has pointed out the religion for you; do not die except as submitters.”
[25:74] And they say, “Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us, and keep us in the forefront of the righteous.”
[24:36] (God’s guidance is found) in houses exalted by God, for His name is commemorated therein. Glorifying Him therein, day and night?
[24:37] People who are not distracted by business or trade from commemorating God; they observe the Contact Prayers (Salat), and give the obligatory charity (Zakat), and they are conscious of the day when the minds and the eyes will be horrified.
[24:38] God will certainly reward them for their good works, and will shower them with His grace. God provides for whomever He wills without limits.
Spouses requires to be devoted to one another
God wants the couple to stay united, polygamy is only under specific circumstances, divorce is discouraged, and adultery is prohibited:
[4:129] You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage, nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, God is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
[5:5] Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.
[5:5] … You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. …
To remain close without letting the devil to drive a wedge
We may occasionally have some selfish issue but need to remember to reverence God, seek His guidance, keep our anger in check, consult and reconcile. If we reverence God, God will sort everything out for us:
[4:128] If a woman senses oppression or desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do.
[4:35] If a couple fears separation, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they decide to reconcile, GOD will help them get together. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant.
[17:53] Tell My servants to treat each other in the best possible manner, for the devil will always try to drive a wedge among them. Surely, the devil is man’s most ardent enemy.
[41:34] Not equal is the good response and the bad response. You shall resort to the nicest possible response. Thus, the one who used to be your enemy, may become your best friend.
Marriage is a great gift from God
We should show our appreciation to God by loving and respecting one another and help each other to be steadfast and righteous. We should remember that God has made us differently, so we must learn to kill our egos and make sacrifices for each other:
[2:223] Your women are the bearers of your seed. Thus, you may enjoy this privilege however you like, so long as you maintain righteousness. You shall observe GOD, and know that you will meet Him. Give good news to the believers.
[4:32] You shall not covet the qualities bestowed upon each other by GOD; the men enjoy certain qualities, and the women enjoy certain qualities. You may implore GOD to shower you with His grace. GOD is fully aware of all things.
[4:34] Men are the care givers for women because of the certain qualities that they are exclusively given and because they are the ones who provide for living and spend from their money. Righteous women would always accept that and they would always guard such an arrangement even in their privacy, when alone, as dictated by God. If you fear rebellion from the women, you shall advise them wisely, then you may stay away from them in bed, then you may deliberately and entirely ignore them. If they follow your advice, you should not make life difficult for them. God is Most High, Supreme.
Marriage is a very special and sacred relationship
Marriage is a very special and sacred relationship between two souls established through solemn pledge. God is always a witness and He records our solemn pledges. We should never forget that making a pledge before God is a great responsibility:
[64:4] He knows everything in the heavens and the earth, and He knows everything you conceal and everything you declare. GOD is fully aware of the innermost thoughts.
[33:15] … making a pledge with GOD involves a great responsibility.
[76:7] They fulfill their pledges, and reverence a day that is extremely difficult.
Marriage is a sacred bond between men and women where bridal payment is obligatory for the grooms in all circumstances by mutually agreeing to any adjustments. The paying or the commitment of paying the amount as fixed at the time of marriage on behalf of husband is not just security for the women but an honor and comport for the woman to join with a new family to start a new life as wife. The Arabic word “fareedah” is translated to bridal payment, which is customarily known as dirmahr or simply mahr in many Muslim cultures and traditions:
[4:24] …All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their bridal due dowries (ujoorahunna fareedatan). You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry bridal payment (fareedah) decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry bridal payment (fareedah). God is Omniscient, Most Wise.
[4:25] Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. God knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their bridal due dowry(ujoorahunna) equitably….
[33:50] … Also, if a believing woman gave herself to the prophet – by forfeiting the dowry – the prophet may marry her without a dowry (bridal payment) (ujoorahunna), if he so wishes. However, her forfeiting of the dowry bridal payment(fardna) applies only to the prophet, and not to the other believers….
[60:10] … Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that (anfaqoo) the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their bridal due dowries (ujoorahunna).
It is noteworthy that dowry is the money and assets given to the groom at the time of marriage on behalf of bride’s family as demanded compensation for his higher education and future earnings. In fact, the Arabic counterpart of dowry is jahaz and the custom of giving dowry (jahaz) is un-Islamic being totally in opposition to the spirit of Islam, although it actually seems to be on the increase among several South Asian Muslim cultures, notably in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.
Accusation of sexual misconduct or spreading rumors
Accusation of someone with sexual misconduct or spreading rumors are very serious matter and are not looked upon lightly by God. We must refrain from accusing anyone of sexual misconduct or spreading rumors about anyone of it without having a strong proof:
[24:4] Those who accuse married women of adultery, then fail to produce four witnesses, you shall whip them eighty lashes, and do not accept any testimony from them; they are wicked.
[24:11] A gang among you produced a big lie. Do not think that it was bad for you; instead, it was good for you. Meanwhile, each one of them has earned his share of the guilt. As for the one who initiated the whole incident, he has incurred a terrible retribution.
[24:12] When you heard it, the believing men and the believing women should have had better thoughts about themselves, and should have said, “This is obviously a big lie.”
[24:15] You fabricated it with your own tongues, and the rest of you repeated it with your mouths without proof. You thought it was simple, when it was, according to GOD, gross.
[24:16] When you heard it, you should have said, “We will not repeat this. Glory be to You. This is a gross falsehood.”
Marriage is a Divine and Sacred Institution and a very special gift from God to the human race. It provides the platform for two people to be intimately close to one another, to enjoy, cherish and seek tranquility in each other. It is a great responsibility for the couple to remain close to one another, and in the case of any selfish issue they must reverence God, seek His guidance, keep their anger in check, consult and reconcile.